A theme that has popped up again with my coaching clients this past week is talking about what they can’t do, and how much it frustrates them.  We all fall into this trap far too easily, and it can kill our momentum and sap our positive energy.  I teach a 3 step process for getting past the “I Cant’s”.

Step 1 – Allow yourself 5 minutes (no more than this, really) to get mad, vent, throw things, punch things (not people), or whatever it is you need to do to let the world know that you are upset with whatever it is the world won’t let you do.

Step 2 – Take a Deep Breath, count to 5, then exhale, counting to 5.  Repeat. Close your eyes, Visualize achieving your next Goal and try to relax.  Do whatever it takes to lower your blood pressure and relax a bit so you can regain your focus and reclaim your success from whatever happened.

Step 3 – Get your team together (the ones who need to be involved) and start making a list of what you CAN do, as this is the only thing that matters.  Sometimes this is very straightforward, sometimes it is complicated.  Regardless, just get all of the ideas out of everyone’s head and on paper or a whiteboard or wherever it makes sense.  Then simply start planning the implementation of what you came up with.

Bottom line here: there will always be things that you want to do, or wish you could do, or you wish that would work, but they just don’t/won’t/can’t happen.  We have a choice on how these frustrations impact our emotional state. How we manage our emotions and stress will dictate how much of our day/week/life will be ruined by setbacks.  Since all of you want to be great leaders in your businesses, managing your reactions to barriers and challenges and choosing to respond instead of react will help your team and customers remain confident, which allows them to work with you to implement whatever you CAN.

Author: Mark McNulty, Business Coach in Louisville, KY